The following is a short list of how you knew them in high school and where they are now:
The girl that was always going to the tanning bed and now looks 10 years older than she really is
You knew her as the bronzed babe who always had that beach glow; even in December. Her friends always complemented her tan complexion, and “being tan” became a part of her identity. After years of paying those monthly fees at the local fake ‘n’ bake, this aging Aphrodite, who’s really 26, looks 36.
The fat guy that got skinny
You knew him as the unathletic but massive man-child who started on the offensive line for your high school football team. He had an ironic name like Midget or Tiny. After high school, he faded into obscurity. He resurfaced in 2008 at an ugly sweater Christmas party thrown by a mutual friend. Only now, Tiny is donning a new, much slimmer body and a semi-attractive girlfriend. He’s also kind of a douche about the fact that he’s trim and healthy now, and he makes snide comments about that Christmas beef log you’re eating.
The guy that’s still in college and works part-time at Best Buy
It’s been eight years since he received his high school diploma, but this guy can’t settle on a life path. He says he wants to be rich one day, but he can’t seem to take more than 3 credits per semester at his local community college. In reality, life at home with mom is just too good. The free meals and free lodging have turned him into the real-life Matthew McConaughey from “Failure to Launch” (albeit less successful – McConaughey had a Porsche and a sweet job selling sailboats).
The girl that got straight A’s, went to an Ivy League, and now makes more money in a month than you do in a year
When she gave her valedictorian speech, nobody in your class had ever seen her before. Six years after graduation, you received a Facebook friend invitation from her and realized that you are comparatively a loser. However, in an effort to feel better about yourself, you point out that she only has 150 Facebook friends, and you have 700. You lie to yourself and think, “Sure, she makes a lot of money doing a job that I just had to Wikipedia to understand, but I have fun! There’s no way she has fun.”
The girl that was always going to the tanning bed and now looks 10 years older than she really is
You knew her as the bronzed babe who always had that beach glow; even in December. Her friends always complemented her tan complexion, and “being tan” became a part of her identity. After years of paying those monthly fees at the local fake ‘n’ bake, this aging Aphrodite, who’s really 26, looks 36.
The fat guy that got skinny
You knew him as the unathletic but massive man-child who started on the offensive line for your high school football team. He had an ironic name like Midget or Tiny. After high school, he faded into obscurity. He resurfaced in 2008 at an ugly sweater Christmas party thrown by a mutual friend. Only now, Tiny is donning a new, much slimmer body and a semi-attractive girlfriend. He’s also kind of a douche about the fact that he’s trim and healthy now, and he makes snide comments about that Christmas beef log you’re eating.
The guy that’s still in college and works part-time at Best Buy
It’s been eight years since he received his high school diploma, but this guy can’t settle on a life path. He says he wants to be rich one day, but he can’t seem to take more than 3 credits per semester at his local community college. In reality, life at home with mom is just too good. The free meals and free lodging have turned him into the real-life Matthew McConaughey from “Failure to Launch” (albeit less successful – McConaughey had a Porsche and a sweet job selling sailboats).
The girl that got straight A’s, went to an Ivy League, and now makes more money in a month than you do in a year
When she gave her valedictorian speech, nobody in your class had ever seen her before. Six years after graduation, you received a Facebook friend invitation from her and realized that you are comparatively a loser. However, in an effort to feel better about yourself, you point out that she only has 150 Facebook friends, and you have 700. You lie to yourself and think, “Sure, she makes a lot of money doing a job that I just had to Wikipedia to understand, but I have fun! There’s no way she has fun.”
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