Gym Culture

There isn't much in the world that makes me happier than seeing a fat guy on a treadmill. Senior citizens wearing headbands and wristbands comes in a close second for me, but I am really partial to seeing the fat guy sweating off the pounds. I workout at the YMCA, and during my workout today I was thinking about "universal gym culture" if there is such a thing. You know, the kind of stuff you'd see at just about any gym. So here are a few that I came up with:

1. The person that fills up their whole water bottle at the water-fountain. This person doesn't care about the massive line of dehydrated people that has formed behind them because they are on a mission to fill up their 60oz Nalgene.

2. The lady with the eating disorder. I have seen this girl at every gym I have ever been to. She looks like a skeleton and smells like cigarette smoke, but she somehow musters the energy for a two-hour Precor session.

3. The military guy. His shorts are always too short and he usually has the arm-band iPod holder. This guy keeps to himself and can always be seen doing pull-ups and squats.

4. The fat lady that just walks around the gym. This person thinks that just by being at the gym or standing next to a treadmill she will be redeemed for the Ho-Ho's she ate on the drive over.

5. The personal trainer. This guy is usually about 30 years-old with massive muscles. After this guy graduates from college with a degree in Physical Fitness he realizes that he has no viable career prospects and no control over his life. In a state of depression he decides that he will make an hourly wage by bringing pain and misery to anyone misfortunate enough to hire his services.